Well, hello there unfamiliar bright yellow sky object

Posted at at October 29, 2018 on Monday, October 29, 2018 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Liturgy Service

When I’d first read about this liturgy service I thought it sounded interesting.

I visited a Lutheran church in Austin assuming that all Lutheran churches did something like this.

They don’t.

There were about a dozen old people peering at me, they were kind and they seemed like they were happy that someone came to visit. There was no Liturgy service and it was a pretty sleepy affair. 

I never returned.

I finally traveled quite some distance to drop in on the service I’d read about.

The hotel offered me two free drink coupons when I checked in but I didn’t want to attend it drunk. I wanted the raw experience.

I know they’re kind of iffy about tourists and gawkers, so I tried to be as unobtrusive as possible. I offered to help set up tables and took one of the “positions,” I honestly didn’t find the congregation all that welcoming but I learned something from 10 years of chilly people in that other thing: I went out of my way to talk to other people who looked new or out of place. 

They kept thinking I was a regular, and nah, I’m just comfortable dropping into random church basements and greeting pretty much anyone who engages me or makes eye contact or looks lost.

I didn’t realize that today was Reformation Sunday, so instead of a sermon they walked through the service and explained everything in detail. It was pretty helpful because I would have felt lost and had no idea what the fuck they were doing.

I opened the program to the first page and I was confronted with the following:

We’re here because we’re people who have heard a rumor that there’s life to be found on the other side of death.

We’re here because just the rumor is enough to bring us hope and just the hope is enough to bring us a moment of life.

We’re here because even though it is only a flicker, a moment, a breath, it’s changed our death forever. Welcome to Liturgy.

Heavy tears flicked onto my jeans. Oh, it’s going to be one of these types of things?

Everyone started singing a hymn that wasn’t in the book.

My companion for the day was another fellow traveler, a pastor on sabbatical from her congregation in Kentucky. I learned a trick when you’re a visitor or a newcomer — find other new people and make them feel welcome. 

“You don’t know Let it Shine? It’s an old Black hymn. Didn’t the Jehovah’s Witnesses ever sing that?”

“No. They had their own hymns. Terrible stuff like From House to House, From Door to Door.”

I’ve said a lot of horrible things recently. I’ve failed to resist or speak out. Forgive me and help me to bring Justice on Earth.

During the quiet time I walked past a cubby where they offered “anointing and spiritual healing.” There was a woman in a blanket being embraced, sobbing with a twisted look on her face. God only knows what she’s going through but it was intense.

We returned to our seats and they read through the prayers anonymously submitted by the congregation.

People were lonely.

People were addicted.

People were grieving.

People were struggling with depression,

Someone left an abusive relationship and didn’t know where they were going.

Damn the darkness that makes me feel separated from God.

It was like a punch in the gut realizing that somewhere in this room someone was going through all these things and putting on their bravest face. Suddenly I didn’t feel so alone anymore.

I lost my shit and bawled.

They offered communion:

Child of God
The body of Christ 
Broken for you

I wasn’t sure what you were supposed to say. I raised my wafer, giggled nervously, and said “Cheers.”

The communion volunteer busted out laughing.

It was everything I hoped it would be.

I had showed up feeling hopeless and dead inside. I have to figure out what I’m doing next but I don’t feel like it matters and I don’t really care what’s next.

Maybe I can put one foot in front of the other and do this one more time.

I tried going to an AA meeting afterwards.

The speaker droned on and on and on and on and on and on and on. I’m not saying his story wasn’t compelling, just that after 45 minutes I was squirming in my seat and I had to go.

I got back to the hotel and dug out those drink coupons. 

I’ll take another two glasses of um... communion... please.

Just kidding. I wasn’t able to finish the first glass.

Posted at at October 28, 2018 on Sunday, October 28, 2018 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

My Give a Damn’s Busted

Posted at at October 28, 2018 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Sixteen Again

I met some random dude in one of the flyover states.

My car's pissing antifreeze all over the place and I was having trouble finding another gallon of it at the last two truck stops I visited.

He suggested I stop at the Wal-Mart. He said they're open 24 hours and they'd be the only place for miles that had coolant and synthetic oil.

"Just pull over at the next exit, I'll give you a ride."

Shrug, random as hell.

He has a 2011 BMW with more or less the same engine as my car and a misfire on cylinder 1. He complained that he had just replaced his plugs and coils.

I asked him what kind of plugs he used.

Regular spark plugs.

I said you need to use the Bosch 4-prong Platinums, to go ahead and pull those new plugs out and shine a light down in the cylinder and I bet you good money there's been spark detonation up against the cylinder walls.

I guess if you're going to fuck around and remove them you may as well replace them though.

He suggested I get a hotel in the area, but I'm like, not in the mood to do anything that requires privacy. When he told me that his daughters are having a sleepover with another girl visiting I was like, dude, you're responsible for someone else's kid tonight. You need to go home.

We hung out and watched car videos in his car for awhile.

I could tell he was lonely and that he didn't really want to go home.

I get it.

Your kids are a blessing, you get that, right?

I had a half a thought about disappearing into the corn somewhere and spending my days working on our shitty BMWs and watching car videos together.

Sounds fun to me. The older I get, the easier it is for me to be happy with the simple stuff.

But... I don't know there's a story here and this guy's deeply unhappy. Kids and maybe a wife for all I know.

It was good wholesome fun and I had more fun doing that than I have in recent memory I guess.

Posted at at October 27, 2018 on Saturday, October 27, 2018 by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under:

Good Enough

It sailed right over Logan’s head when I put my head down on his desk and bawled to this song.

Exactly as one might expect that it would.

I was 27, and kind of going through it with that one. I know all about the bird tearing out its own feathers and beating its body against the cage bars. I was burning myself with cigarettes and I’d swallowed an entire bottle of Ativan after one fight. I don’t know, the dude was always screaming at me over something and I was about to snap like a twig. And then there was Sarah.

Maybe I’m crazy, it’s been suggested before, but I heard a woman’s voice warning me “don’t go down his path with him. If you go down that path with him, he’ll take you down with him.”

Posted at at October 27, 2018 on by By The Energizer Bunny From Hell |   | Filed under: